Success Stories: Jessica and Andrew

Most children throw themselves down, cry and scream when they throw a temper tantrum—not Andrew. Andrew would hit, bite, kick, throw things and flip over tables. One word said in the wrong tone of voice had the power to spark a tantrum that could last for hours.

Andrew’s behavior kept him from enjoying all the fun things kids his age should experience like play dates and circle time or outdoor play at daycare. I remember the time we took him to the circus—the greatest show on earth. Rather than it being a fun, memorable experience, the over stimulation led to one of Andrew’s worst tantrums ever. I felt so sad and helpless restraining him in the restroom with people walking in and out. My son did not have the ability to enjoy even a basic thing like going to the circus and having fun. It broke my heart.

If you’re a parent, you know how stressful it can be getting children to daycare and yourself to work on time. In our house, getting Andrew dressed, fed and out the door was a nightmare. Three out of five days a week, I’d drive to work crying. At work, I was always on edge waiting for that dreaded phone call telling me that Andrew was “out of control” and that I needed to come pick him up.

Andrew was about 3½ years old when my husband and I finally realized that putting him in timeout or dragging him to his room kicking, biting and screaming was getting us nowhere. Something was not right—he wasn’t “growing out of it,” and we had no idea how to help him. It was time to get professional help.

We consulted a psychologist who recommended reward programs both at home and school. We met with her regularly and did everything she suggested. We tried; his daycare tried—stickers, timer, warnings—nothing worked. Eventually, Andrew’s daycare asked us not to bring him back. What was I going to do? I had to work. As I was walking out the door for the last time, one of the teachers stopped me and recommended The Providence Center’s Early Childhood Institute (ECI). It’s scary to think where we might be today if I hadn’t taken her advice.

From the moment I walked through the door, I knew we had found something special not only for Andrew, but for our family. Everyone we met saw Andrew for the sweet, funny and energetic boy that he was and never did we feel we were being judged or labeled as “bad parents.” We were simply told that Andrew was just “misunderstood” and that, as a family, we needed to learn the skills that would help him control his emotions and behavior.

After just three weeks at the ECI, Andrew learned how to recognize his feelings of anger and frustration and to stop, take a breath and think about how to react appropriately in situations that upset him. He learned that “unfriendly behaviors” like hitting, screaming, kicking and throwing things were not okay and hurt people.

A clinician who came to our home regularly taught us how to reinforce at home what Andrew was learning at school. We discovered that punishing Andrew served no purpose and that it would be better to help him to realize how his actions affected other people. A good example is the time Andrew hit me. I let him know that he hurt my feelings and that I was sad. When I put him to bed that night he said, “Mommy, I’m sorry for hitting you.” I was so touched. We were working so hard; he was finally getting it.

After just three weeks at the ECI, we enrolled Andrew in The Providence Center’s Imagine Preschool. Magical things happen at Imagine. Andrew loved it there.

I cannot say enough good things about Imagine. The program is all about helping the kids to learn, grow and, most of all, succeed. The staff is educated, talented, skilled, helpful, kind, thoughtful, generous—I could go on and on. At Imagine, Andrew experienced circle time, story time, going outside to play—all the things he missed at his other daycare. For me and my family, this was magic—a dream come true.

Our lives are very different today than they were a year ago. Andrew’s tantrums are all but gone and with them went the harried mornings, the dreaded phone calls, and the stress at home. Sure we have problems, but they’re problems any other family would have and now we have the skills to control them.

Andrew recently started kindergarten at our community school. Thanks to The Providence Center, he’s learning, growing and doing all the fun things a kid should do. There’s a sparkle in his eye that I’ve never seen before. As for me—I couldn’t be more proud of my son. Thank you, Providence Center, for the happiness you’ve brought to my family. We can’t wait until the circus comes to town again!
Jessica